Are your thoughts preoccupied with issues, problems or things to fix? Instead of appreciating or enjoying the good stuff in your relationship, do you notice a subtle compulsion to focus on what is not working? Do you use all these “consciousness” tools and techniques to feed your need to consistently improve and fix your relationships?
Welcome to PDD! Perpetual Dissatisfaction Disorder (which we think Justin coined early on in our relationship). If you have PDD you are not alone, it is fairly common in many relationships. It is a way in which we are consistently oriented towards what is wrong and what needs fixing and improvement. This unconscious orientation keeps us from fully appreciating what “is” and hinders us from truly experiencing the good stuff that is going on right now. Yes, we said it… there is likely good stuff happening RIGHT NOW, are you enjoying it?
Shortly after Justin and I moved in together he blurted out, “Juna, you have PDD! You are perpetually dissatisfied and consistently focused on what is wrong!!” I quickly retorted that if I had PDD, then he had ICD (Inappropriate Comments Disorder). We had a little chuckle over that. :)
PDD still arises in our relationship and at this point I am retraining my mind to focus on what is working. The other night I came home with a reveal for Justin. I felt upset about something that had occurred earlier in the day. He received my feedback and appreciated my reveal. Yet he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that I was stuck in an old PDD pattern. We decided to try an experiment. We agreed for one whole week to commit to focus on what is working and practice the art of appreciation and enjoyment. Please join us and share what you learn and experience.
This morning I asked Justin how he is participating to co-create this experience of PDD with me. Justin realized that he has had many relationships with partners and family where there was a consistent focus on issues, problems and fixing. He realized that his Peacekeeper persona requires problems in order to help others in need.
Our Invitation: Are you or your partner experiencing some PDD? Join us for one week of experiencing appreciation, enjoyment and focusing on what is working. If your partner has PDD ask yourself how you might be co-creating this experience with them? We are on the journey with you, so feel free to share your thoughts or comments on www.DailyRelationship.com, www.facebook.com/DailyRelationship and www.youtube.com/DailyRelationship. Thank you.
- Juna & Justin